Building the Family I Never Had: Why I Chose Five Kids and Homeschooling [Anthony's Origin Story]

Speaker: 00:00:00

Hey, welcome to the

Homeschool Money Podcast.

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Before we dive in today, I wanna give

you a preview of what's coming up in

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this episode, and trust me, you're not

gonna wanna miss a single minute, okay?

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Today I am gonna pull back the

curtain on my personal story, and

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that doesn't probably mean a whole

lot in the first place to you, right?

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But here's the thing.

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I've never shared my personal story

in detail in a public platform.

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So like this.

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So this is pretty hard for me, but this

also is really important, I believe

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because it gets to the deeper why, of my

intentionality as a father and for me to

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choose homeschooling as the educational

choice for my children with my wife.

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And also for the creation of of,

of this podcast right, as well

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as for the new program called

The Homeschool Money Makeover.

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This gets to the why of how all of

that came to be and why we're so

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passionate about helping homeschooling

families afford to homeschool.

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And you know why I wanted to have

five kids in the first place?

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I'm talking about the divorce that

I went through as a 5-year-old.

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I'm talking about the culture shock

I experienced when I went to public

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school and how I was jumped by two

guys in my first two weeks of public

20

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school, and how sadly I became a wolf

so as to not be targeted by other people

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that I considered wolves back then.

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It is also the story of how God saved

me when I was in my late teens at my

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absolute lowest rock bottom point in

my life, and how he gave me a total 180

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degree transformation, which is the only

reason that I'm probably even here today.

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And the only reason that I stepped

onto a track that would eventually

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have me run into and meet the woman

who would become my future wife

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in my freshman year of college.

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But here's the thing, it's not just a

story about my personal transformation.

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It's about why my wife and I made the

radical decision to homeschool our

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five kids and how we built a gen a

business that generates six figures

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a year and allows us to work just 15

to 20 hours a week from home so that

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we can homeschool our own children

and so that we can have the time.

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And the margin to live

out our personal values.

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And it's, and it gets to the why that

we're so passionate about reaching a

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hundred thousand families and helping

them with our five step system for

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self-funding, their homeschool journey.

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People like you, people like you.

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And we're talking today about real

financial freedom, intentional parenting,

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and why I've personally changed 99% of all

of the diapers of all five of my children.

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And what that says about the

kind of father and husband I was

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determined to be so many years ago.

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If you've ever wondered how to break

free from the nine to five grind

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and create a true lifestyle freedom

for yourself, or give your children

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an education that aligns with your

deepest values, this episode is going

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to challenge everything you thought

you knew about what's possible.

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So crank up the volume

zone in and let's go.

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One of my biggest bragging points as a

dad is that I have personally changed 99%

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of all of the diapers of our five kids.

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And we've got a 2-year-old boy now.

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So I've got probably another two, three,

maybe even four years and then I'm hanging

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up the diaper changing kit for good.

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That is until they start

popping out grand babies.

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I've got a nice break before then,

and so I'm looking forward to that.

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It's a big deal for me as a man, as

a husband, and as a father, to have

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changed the diapers for my babies

because it's a way that I can support

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my wife who's gone through nine

pregnancies, four miscarriages, and two.

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Two clinical near death

experiences, which we'll share

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a lot more in episodes to come.

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It was also important for me to be

a husband that was super involved

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with my wife during pregnancy and

with my children once they were born.

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So I was super excited when my first

born baby boy was born in the fall

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of 2011, but I was also scared out

of my mind and all of those emotions

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swirled inside because of all I went

through in my childhood as a father.

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I didn't wanna hurt our new baby

boy the way I had been hurt.

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I wanted to be there, be close,

be and intentional dad, and I just

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wanted to be a physically present dad.

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I mean, there's a lot to be said

just for that because that's

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something that I did not have.

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I wanted to instill the

core values that I live by.

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A love for God, a love for family and

lifestyle freedom, as well as a need

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for financial abundance to support my

first three core values and also for

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self-actualization, which for me is

rooted in God's calling for my life.

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Homeschooling was a big part of our plan

of intentionally raising our children.

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We knew we wanted to build a strong

family and raise our children to value

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God and value family in their hearts.

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So we answered the question of how to

afford homeschooling a long time ago.

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We've, we've been self-employed and

run and have run businesses that have

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provided the lifestyle and financial

freedom to live life on our own terms.

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Crystal has coached individuals and

families in their personal finances

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through, paying off debt and getting

on track towards retirement for years.

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And I've been a digital marketing

consultant for hundreds of entrepreneurs

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helping them plan launches, write

their sales funnels, build them out and

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optimize their businesses online for high

profit, low stress, lifestyle income.

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And now we have the Homeschool

Money Makeover program,

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which is a five step system.

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We package all of our experiences

that we had with personal

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finance coaching to helping.

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Other people launch businesses and

running our own businesses, we package

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all that up into a streamlined five step

system that helps any family get their

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budget in order, generate an immediate

$1,000, raise money to self fund their

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homeschool, start or scale up their side

hustle, or scale up their self-employment

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services or start a business, using one

of the top five business models that we

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have personally seen and used and are

using currently to grow a family business

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that supports the homeschool lifestyle.

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A business that provides a high

profit, low stress lifestyle income.

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This system works for anybody wanting to

create maximum income in little time and

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wants to make 50,000, a hundred thousand,

several hundred thousand dollars a

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year in income or more annually without

working more than 15 hours a week.

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Since we care about

homeschooling and we know that.

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Money is a big challenge

for most families.

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We're offering our comprehensive

solution to the homeschooling community.

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We're answering this question in

the most comprehensive way online.

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There's no other resource like what

we've created with the homeschool

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Money Makeover that we know of.

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And for us, it's taken every last

experience, certification, client success

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story, years of being early adopters and

taking chances to give us the expertise

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to even package up all of this into such

a streamlined and comprehensive solution.

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The five steps that we've put and

packaged up into the homeschool money

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makeover all came from the seedbed of the

experiences that I'll be sharing here.

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So I was born and raised on the

north, inside of town of Beaumont,

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Texas, a city in the deep southeast

part of Texas, close to Houston.

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My dad has been a senior pastor of large

churches for 50 years before he retired.

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Family life for me, in the first

five years of, of my life were

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stressful from what I can remember.

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I had one other sibling, he

was my brother, older brother.

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He was 14 years older than I was, my mom

had my brother with her previous husband

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and he was kicked out of the home by the

time I was two or maybe three years old.

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So it was just my parents and me.

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I can remember arguments.

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I don't remember too many more instances.

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I do remember watching He-Man,

when I was a kid and a strange

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show called Banana Man.

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I remember watching Fraggle Rock,

and I do remember watching Sesame

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Street, but I do remember arguments

also and being afraid at times.

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And by the time I was five years

old, my parents had divorced.

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I had cousins that were on my dad's

side of the family, but not so much

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on my mom's side of the family.

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And we lived in town in Beaumont

with my mom's side of the family.

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And so there was only my auntie and

my grandmother, they lived together.

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My brother moved in with them.

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But he was hardly ever around.

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He ran the streets all the time,

and so I didn't see that much of any

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man in my life After my parents got

divorced, and I can still remember.

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My father walking out

the door in our home.

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We hadn't even lived in this new

home for long, maybe a year or so.

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And I remember saying to him,

pleading with him, telling him

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that I promised to do better.

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I promised that I would change, and

he assured me that it wasn't my fault.

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Only other experience I had about that

time of that transition from going

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from a home with my b both my parents

to transitioning to the divorce was

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riding my bicycle around the corner

to the front of the neighborhood

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of this suburban neighborhood in

the far north side of Beaumont.

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Riding my bicycle around the corner

from the house to the apartment

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that my mom would move us to.

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And I remember being

raised in that apartment.

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From that age of five years old

all the way through high school

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graduation, there were different points

where my mom wanted to get a home.

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But all the neighborhoods that we

were considering were sort of in

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the, you know, worst part of town in

the north end of town in Beaumont.

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And I just as well would rather stay

in the apartments that we lived in.

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They were nice, they were

clean, they were safe.

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They had a nice pool, a nice hot tub.

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And I loved, loved swimming,

so I just as well stayed there.

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And, I'm actually really glad that we did

stay there until I graduated high school.

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And so, growing up from that point.

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Was very lonely for me.

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It was isolating, it was an isolating

experience, very lonely experience.

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I definitely demonstrated signs

of depression and, high anxiety,

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maybe even suicidal tendencies.

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And yet there was never any

discussion or talk about

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counseling or anything like that.

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And for me, as a kid living in real

time, I did not even know that that

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would have been on the table until I

got older and realized that man, you

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know, some people get therapy for things

like divorce or depression or whatever

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in their, as children, their, their

parents do that sort of thing for them.

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But for me, I didn't know any different.

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I had the early childhood

elementary school experience

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of attending a private school.

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It was a very small private

school, and that was a very.

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Good experience for me being at

that particular private school.

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There was, maybe 50 to 70 or 80,

maybe to a hundred students or

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so in the heyday of the school.

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And it was a great elementary

school experience for me because it

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was very diverse and it was safe.

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The kids were nice, the teachers were

nice, but it was very diverse Also.

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There were white kids, there

were black kids, there were Asian

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kids and even Hispanic kids as

well in that elementary school.

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And so I grew up just feeling

comfortable with everyone.

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And I can remember having to

lead that school in fourth grade

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because the school ended like

it only went up to fourth grade.

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And so I.

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I remember having to transition

from that private school experience

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where it was nice and the kids

were nice, the teachers were nice.

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At that time, around that time,

this was Michael Jackson's heyday,

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Paula Abdul's, heyday Madonna

was on the pop radio station.

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My mom would play when I was a kid, and

I just remember, you know, going from

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listening to Paula Abdul to my public

school experience in the fifth grade and

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experiencing total culture shock, okay.

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In the fifth grade.

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I remember the first day of

school when I had to go to public

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school in the fifth grade because.

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I had a new outfit on a bright red shirt,

and I remember who was on the shirt

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because the movie Space Jam was popular.

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The one with Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny

and Michael Jackson had done the video.

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And with Michael Jordan.

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I just thought that was

the coolest thing ever.

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I love that movie.

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And so my mom got me a Space Jam

shirt to wear on the first day of

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school with a matching cap, and I

wore that on the first day of school.

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And I did not know at the time what

I was walking into on the first

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day of school in the fifth grade.

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But this school that I went to,

they put me in the class with.

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A group of kids that would come

to be known as the B 13 convicts.

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Okay.

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I'm talking about the school

teachers called the students in

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the, in my class, the B 13 convicts.

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Alright.

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So apparently these kids had already

developed a reputation, maybe from

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fourth grade, I'm supposing, but they

were all pulled together into what

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I would learn would be like some of

the worst kids in the whole school.

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Okay.

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It was probably around 20 some odd kids, a

class made up of about 25 students or so.

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And I would say that probably a good

13 of those kids were just like.

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They would actually grow up to be, you

know, just some of the worst kids that

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I, I knew kids who were held back, kids

who were sent to alternative school.

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Kids who would grow up to drop

out of school by the time they

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were in the ninth or 10th grade.

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Kids who would grow up to develop records

with arrests and prison, do prison time.

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And unfortunately, one or two kids that

died at a very early age because of the

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lifestyle that they were engaged in.

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But on that first day of public

school in the fifth grade.

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It was tough for me.

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Within two weeks, within the very

first couple of weeks of my public

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school experience, all students

I had never seen or known before.

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I remember being jumped by two kids in

the class on the way home from school.

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I walked home from that particular

school 'cause it was in the neighborhood.

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And it was probably a mile, mile

and a half away from my home.

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I don't know why I was targeted.

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I guess I was different.

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I probably talked different, you

know like I said, I was listening

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to the pop station when I was, you

know, just that summer, right before

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school, the school year started.

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But, but these kids weren't

listening to the pop station like me.

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They, these kids were listening to some

stuff that I didn't even know about.

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Like they were listening to ice tea.

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They was listening to nwa.

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I mean, I, I was introduced to rap music,

by the kids in this fifth grade class.

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And I was also introduced to gang.

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Affiliation and gang mentality.

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I would not like to describe it such in

terms of like real gang violence because,

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you know, we lived in Beaumont, Texas.

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We knew, we knew we

wasn't raised in Compton.

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Okay.

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But Beaumont, Texas kids in particularly

on my side of town, north End and

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also the south end of town, were,

largely African American and there's

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a lot of, you know, projects and

just, you know, poor neighborhoods.

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And so a lot of kids, you know,

were influenced by gang culture

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that was happening on the, on the

West Coast and that type of thing.

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And so I'm wearing a bright red t-shirt

on the first day of school and I

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remember somebody this particular kid

you know, accusing me of being a blood

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just 'cause I was wearing a red shirt.

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And apparently he and everybody else in

the class, and I guess most people in the

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school system were associating with Crips.

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And so, like I'm confronted with.

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Gangs, like being a, being accused

of being a blood as opposed to

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being a Crip in the fifth grade.

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Okay.

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And I'm up here wearing my space

jam and ball cap and t-shirt to,

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to the first day of school thinking

that I'm gonna be accepted.

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I'm be warmly greeted and I'm gonna be,

you know, Hey man, you looking fly today?

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Nah, dude.

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I was wearing red in a

all blue gang culture.

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Okay.

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And so I developed bullies, I

developed a bully and in the fifth

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grade, and by the end of the fifth

grade, I'm, I'm pleased to say that

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I had made it outta that class.

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It was such a problem that, you know,

the teacher apparently noticed a

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difference or whatever in me and I

was able to get caught up to what.

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You know, the curriculum they

were on versus what I had been

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on in, in my previous school,

my private school set setting.

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And so I was able to get outta that

class and get it placed in an AP class.

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But my goodness, that happened

toward the end of the school year.

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It was, by the time I got into that class,

it was just like a month or two left of.

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Fifth grade before I was then

dumped into the bottom of a whole

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nother system that is middle school.

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Okay.

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So from there I went to middle

school, sixth grade to eighth grade.

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I'm in the sixth grade.

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So I was also by my parents.

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I was a younger student

than most other students.

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My birthday is falls August 3rd.

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So I, I was placed in, in school

early which made me, you know,

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developmentally younger and maybe smaller

than other students in, my classes.

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Right.

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Especially in public school because

in public school or, or at least the

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public school system that I was in.

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You got, you already had kids

that was in the fifth grade

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that was already held back.

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My dad moved to Washington State, to

pastor a church there several years

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just a few years after, well, maybe

several years after the divorce.

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So they divorced when

I was five years old.

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And by the time I got to middle

school, probably sixth grade

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or maybe seventh grade, my dad.

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I moved to Washington State

to pastor a church there.

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: 00:23:15

But of course, me and my mom

stayed in Beaumont, Texas.

296

: 00:23:18

And so this you know, my dad was, was

I, I would see my dad some weekends.

297

: 00:23:23

He would come and get me

when he lived in town.

298

: 00:23:27

But after that, you know, I just,

that those were such critical years

299

: 00:23:32

of me trying to learn the ropes as a

boy, peering on, on my teenage years.

300

: 00:23:39

And I really, what I would later

find out that I really needed a,

301

: 00:23:45

a loving, you know, caring father

around but a healthy father.

302

: 00:23:51

And so I it was hard for me to learn.

303

: 00:23:55

My self identity and gain my self

identity and feel comfortable in who I

304

: 00:24:00

was given the fact that my dad wasn't

there and I didn't have any other men,

305

: 00:24:06

positive men in my life, that I can

say showed me how to be a positive

306

: 00:24:13

young man and to help me develop

good habits and that sort of thing.

307

: 00:24:19

And so I was really left to learn how

to be a human being and how to not get

308

: 00:24:26

picked on by the wolves who very early on

in that fifth grade year had targeted me.

309

: 00:24:35

And so very quickly I start trying to

learn a completely new game instead of

310

: 00:24:41

trying to learn how to be a good student.

311

: 00:24:45

Elementary school that last year of

elementary school, fifth grade, or

312

: 00:24:49

into a good student in middle school.

313

: 00:24:52

I am completely absorbed with the

culture shock and my place in this new

314

: 00:25:00

social pecking order and ecosystem.

315

: 00:25:05

That was my middle school

experience, that was hard.

316

: 00:25:12

And so, you know, just a bunch of, of,

of students and a large school population

317

: 00:25:18

of kids who were essentially raising

themselves without, you know good

318

: 00:25:24

strong family and parental figures in

their lives to help them figure things

319

: 00:25:30

out and to be disciplined and to be,

you know, academic and all of that.

320

: 00:25:35

And so we're really influenced

by this time, by the the new.

321

: 00:25:42

Rap album that like changed everything.

322

: 00:25:45

And that was the chronic album by Dr.

323

: 00:25:48

Dre and Snoop Dogg.

324

: 00:25:49

I mean these guys, Snoop Dogg, and

then mainly Tupac and the Notorious

325

: 00:25:55

BIG these guys became my mentors and

these guys became the pied Pipers of

326

: 00:26:04

really everybody that I was around.

327

: 00:26:06

And so if I describe my childhood

experience, I would have to describe it

328

: 00:26:12

as, you know, in terms of the eighties

the popular eighties movie, breakfast

329

: 00:26:17

club, you know me and the guys that

I, I, I developed a trauma bond with.

330

: 00:26:24

Now I call it a trauma

bond that I'm grown out.

331

: 00:26:26

And I know some of these

languages some of this language.

332

: 00:26:29

Why is it that I was attracted to

more to them and work to become

333

: 00:26:36

more like, like them instead of.

334

: 00:26:39

Withdrawing and, and

moving away from them?

335

: 00:26:42

Well, it's because I didn't know how

to process good versus bad friends.

336

: 00:26:46

I didn't really have strong boundaries.

337

: 00:26:49

I didn't know that I had really an

alternative and that I could have

338

: 00:26:54

gone a different direction and

really separated myself even further.

339

: 00:26:58

But instead, I felt

like I was with wolves.

340

: 00:27:01

And so I, I, I learned myself to at least

put on the mask of becoming a wolf myself.

341

: 00:27:07

And this just created for me a very

stressful middle school experience.

342

: 00:27:14

I would love to go and

visit my grandmother.

343

: 00:27:16

That was like my safe place.

344

: 00:27:19

When I can go and visit my grandmother,

because she was there, you know,

345

: 00:27:22

being retired, she was there.

346

: 00:27:24

My mom was working a lot and so my

grandmother was able to be there

347

: 00:27:28

and she was really sweet to me.

348

: 00:27:30

And I could just remember laying in

the bed with her watching, you know,

349

: 00:27:33

the Smurfs and watching other cartoons.

350

: 00:27:37

And then she would turn on TV N

and watch a lot of TV preaching.

351

: 00:27:40

And, and that's what what we did.

352

: 00:27:42

She'd watch the stories during the day.

353

: 00:27:44

So I'd be at her house a lot of time

during the summertime, and there were

354

: 00:27:48

kids in the neighborhood you know, she

lived in the hood and there were kids

355

: 00:27:52

around that you know that were, that were.

356

: 00:27:55

Kids that I hung out with there and my,

my aunt, like I said, lived with her.

357

: 00:28:00

And then my brother was just

in and out of the house.

358

: 00:28:03

And so I saw him every now and again, but

my brother was running the streets and,

359

: 00:28:08

you know, I mean doing all the things.

360

: 00:28:10

And so he was not that

positive influence on me.

361

: 00:28:13

In fact, my brother was a person who.

362

: 00:28:16

Would like teach me like anytime

he, I spent time with my brother.

363

: 00:28:22

His intention was to teach me, like, I'm

teaching you how to be, how to ride in

364

: 00:28:29

a car with my seat so far back, I could

barely see out of the side window teaching

365

: 00:28:35

me he, would drink , and, and drive.

366

: 00:28:38

I mean, have a cooler sitting in the

backseat of the car riding around the

367

: 00:28:41

streets of Beaumont, Texas all day long.

368

: 00:28:44

And sitting me down and in front

of a, a TV and a video player and

369

: 00:28:50

putting on DVDs that would teach me

about things that I should not have

370

: 00:28:54

been exposed to as a young person.

371

: 00:28:58

But those are the lessons that I learned.

372

: 00:29:01

From the, person who was a male

authority figure in my life.

373

: 00:29:06

Once my great uncle got out of

jail, out of prison, he went

374

: 00:29:11

to live with my grandmother.

375

: 00:29:13

And so in the times I was with him

and we went fishing and what do you

376

: 00:29:19

think a great uncle who is, you know,

doesn't have any job or anything like

377

: 00:29:25

that, who had just got outta prison?

378

: 00:29:27

What do you think, you know, older guys

like that do whenever they are fishing?

379

: 00:29:33

And so he introduced me to some, bad

habits out fishing at the fishing hole

380

: 00:29:39

and so these were the, the men that were

in my life, the two men that were in my

381

: 00:29:44

family in my life that I grew up with.

382

: 00:29:46

My dad's dad, who was also a lifelong

pastor, and he pastor a church

383

: 00:29:51

in Austin, Texas, a historical

church there in Austin, Texas.

384

: 00:29:55

He passed away when I was nine years old.

385

: 00:29:58

And I just remember crying

so hard when I lost my papa.

386

: 00:30:03

And knowing that I just did not have

any other men in my family besides my

387

: 00:30:08

brother and my great uncle who were both

really negative influences on me there

388

: 00:30:13

was not too many lessons for me to learn.

389

: 00:30:16

And so I.

390

: 00:30:17

I, if I draw the analogy of who I was

and who I became and who I tried to

391

: 00:30:23

be like from the movie Breakfast Club

that was that popular eighties movie

392

: 00:30:28

me and the guys that I ran with were

the John Bender of the school system.

393

: 00:30:35

Right?

394

: 00:30:35

The, the, the rebels, right.

395

: 00:30:37

The funny thing is that when I would

make a life change in my later high

396

: 00:30:42

school years I would turn out to

be this person who was more like,

397

: 00:30:47

who was more like Brian, right?

398

: 00:30:49

In the, in the movie Breakfast Club.

399

: 00:30:51

More like Andrew in the

movie Breakfast Club, right?

400

: 00:30:55

The nerd and a little bit of the athlete,

a little bit of the nerd, a little

401

: 00:30:58

bit of both of those types of guys.

402

: 00:31:00

I was, I became this pretty

disciplined person who loves

403

: 00:31:04

to exercise and all of that.

404

: 00:31:06

But also was about my books

and about about learning and

405

: 00:31:10

getting ahead like Brian was.

406

: 00:31:12

And it's just funny the way that.

407

: 00:31:15

School was public school was I experienced

all of these different cliques.

408

: 00:31:20

Yeah.

409

: 00:31:20

There were the Bryans, the

nerds, and they hung together.

410

: 00:31:23

Yeah.

411

: 00:31:23

There were the athletes

and they hung together.

412

: 00:31:26

Yes.

413

: 00:31:26

There were the Hispanic students who

pretty much hung together and so I

414

: 00:31:31

didn't find a place to fit with, many.

415

: 00:31:35

And then there were the

popular kids, right?

416

: 00:31:37

And I didn't find a place to

fit in with any of those guys.

417

: 00:31:41

When my dad moved to Washington State, I

would go and see him on the summertime.

418

: 00:31:45

In the summertime.

419

: 00:31:47

And he married another woman and, and she

had a son who was a year older than me.

420

: 00:31:53

And though we got along great, he

also was influenced by the wrong

421

: 00:31:59

people, the Snoop Doggs and the

Tupacs and the biggies of the world.

422

: 00:32:02

And so, you know, from every place that

I went from Beaumont, Texas to Washington

423

: 00:32:08

State, it seemed like to me my worldview

revolved around, you know, the rappers

424

: 00:32:16

that we heard and were revolved around.

425

: 00:32:18

All of these negative influences

self-destructive machoism that a

426

: 00:32:26

lot of the culture of people that

I was around were involved in and

427

: 00:32:30

it just was reinforced whenever I

even went to Washington State to

428

: 00:32:34

visit my dad and was around the

kids that were in his church there.

429

: 00:32:39

I mean, there was a lot better kids,

I would say, than the kids that I was

430

: 00:32:43

around in my school experience, but.

431

: 00:32:47

You know, they were still influenced,

you know, particularly my stepbrother

432

: 00:32:53

who was also from Beaumont they,

they were all, he was influenced.

433

: 00:32:56

And so I was also influenced by these, you

know, characters that were popular in pop

434

: 00:33:03

culture it made it hard for me to focus on

developing a a godly worldview, a biblical

435

: 00:33:09

worldview, and a positive self image.

436

: 00:33:11

And it made it hard for

me to focus on school.

437

: 00:33:14

I just got by in school, and I'm surprised

that I even got by because I was so

438

: 00:33:21

preoccupied with trying to fit in by the

eighth grade getting involved in the Snoop

439

: 00:33:26

Dogg type of, you know, chronic lifestyle.

440

: 00:33:29

That was, that was really

taught on that album.

441

: 00:33:33

And use all of that to,

to, to wear this mask

442

: 00:33:37

and so I developed a lot of sort

of dependence and comfort on

443

: 00:33:42

things and on substances and that

helped me hide in plain sight.

444

: 00:33:47

I read a book that was

given to me by my mom.

445

: 00:33:51

When I was in the 10th grade, and this

book was about hell, it's a book called

446

: 00:33:57

The Divine Revelations of Hell by Mary Kay

Baxter, I believe is the author's name.

447

: 00:34:02

And my mom and I had been going

to church I think probably since

448

: 00:34:07

I was back in the eighth grade.

449

: 00:34:09

It's just that the church kids

that I was around, you know, they,

450

: 00:34:14

they felt kind of snooty to me.

451

: 00:34:15

They felt like they, it

was primarily a family.

452

: 00:34:19

And they were so, they were closed off

from the rest of just like stray kids

453

: 00:34:22

like me, you know, it was just me and

my mom who went to church, but the, the

454

: 00:34:26

biggest group of other kids were, they're

made up of like four or five families.

455

: 00:34:32

And so they had, they all had, you

know, kids and they were all cousins and

456

: 00:34:36

they were all around the same age, and

so they kind of ran together and, and

457

: 00:34:40

then there was like stragglers like me.

458

: 00:34:42

And so I didn't find any comfort in

the kids that were , in the church.

459

: 00:34:48

They, they weren't really welcoming

or hospitable type of, you know,

460

: 00:34:52

young Christian kids or whatever.

461

: 00:34:53

They were just doing their own thing.

462

: 00:34:55

And so church didn't mean that much to

me even though we, you know, my mom, I.

463

: 00:35:01

Had us going back to church, but

somewhere around the 10th grade.

464

: 00:35:07

I did start to listen up further.

465

: 00:35:10

I had a really good Sunday school

teacher who was the teacher

466

: 00:35:14

of the youth program and he.

467

: 00:35:18

He took a liking to me because when

it came to him teaching his lessons

468

: 00:35:23

on the Wednesday nights or on the

Sunday mornings and Sunday school,

469

: 00:35:27

I would have comments or whatever.

470

: 00:35:29

I would ask questions about the

Bible stories and things that

471

: 00:35:32

were, that he was talking about.

472

: 00:35:35

And my mom gave me this book,

like I said, around 10th grade.

473

: 00:35:39

Some sometime early in the

second se semester of my 10th

474

: 00:35:43

grade year of high school.

475

: 00:35:45

And I read that book while I was just

at my absolute worst as a young man.

476

: 00:35:54

I'm trying to hide from my mom

this, sort of lifestyle that

477

: 00:35:58

I'm living away from home.

478

: 00:36:00

Whenever you do things you're not supposed

to be doing, there are signs, right?

479

: 00:36:04

And there were definitely signs

that I wasn't doing right.

480

: 00:36:08

And there was definitely times

that I got caught doing wrong.

481

: 00:36:11

And trying to explain all of that

away as though it was just like a

482

: 00:36:13

one time experience was tough for me.

483

: 00:36:17

And so I, I, I felt guilty about

the way that I was living and you

484

: 00:36:22

know, with my girlfriend at the time.

485

: 00:36:23

And I read this book and isn't it strange

that in a book that talked all about

486

: 00:36:30

hell and and the destiny that anybody

who did not know Jesus Christ would face?

487

: 00:36:38

It's so funny to me and ironic that

in a book that describes hell in very

488

: 00:36:45

in great detail, that is actually

the place that for the first time

489

: 00:36:50

I can remember as, as an older kid.

490

: 00:36:53

'cause I, I did ask to be

baptized when I was younger.

491

: 00:36:56

Much, much younger.

492

: 00:36:58

But I, I didn't continue walking

with the Lord or anything like that.

493

: 00:37:02

But at this particular time, I'm

like, you know, 16 years old.

494

: 00:37:07

And I, I.

495

: 00:37:09

Am reading this book.

496

: 00:37:11

I hadn't been reading books,

I wasn't reading books at

497

: 00:37:13

that time in my life at all.

498

: 00:37:15

But I'm reading this book

and I cannot put it down.

499

: 00:37:18

I read it every day when I come home

from school, and I'm just captivated

500

: 00:37:22

by what is being described and the

scriptures that are being shared.

501

: 00:37:28

And I cry out to God one night

and I asked Jesus to come

502

: 00:37:33

into my heart and to save me.

503

: 00:37:36

And I could just remember shortly after

that on a Saturday, being in the park

504

: 00:37:41

by myself and watching a puff of smoke

go up into the air and just having

505

: 00:37:47

a, an original thought I thought.

506

: 00:37:50

My life is like this puff of smoke.

507

: 00:37:54

It's here for the moment, and then it's,

it's like a vapor in the wind, right?

508

: 00:37:58

It, it's here for a moment, and

then it's gone on into eternity.

509

: 00:38:03

And so in that moment, for

me, the original thought was,

510

: 00:38:09

I have to change my life.

511

: 00:38:13

It is not worth me living this.

512

: 00:38:17

Stressful, hard, horrible life

that I'm living a life where I'd

513

: 00:38:23

gotten into dozens of fights.

514

: 00:38:26

Just trying to, you know, protect myself

and walking with a chip on my shoulder

515

: 00:38:32

and trying not to look soft in front of

anybody in this macho culture that I'm in.

516

: 00:38:38

And I did not like my life, and

I was so weighed down by it all.

517

: 00:38:46

I felt very much like the

character Christian in the epic

518

: 00:38:52

pilgrim's progress story.

519

: 00:38:55

I felt very much like him carrying around

this big, heavy, dirty burden on my back.

520

: 00:39:04

And it was funny because I'm reading this

book about hell and the, the author in,

521

: 00:39:08

in the book describes the smells of sulfur

fire and fumes burning human flesh over

522

: 00:39:16

and over and over again for all eternity.

523

: 00:39:19

And so as I come home from school,

whenever I'm coming home from hanging

524

: 00:39:25

out with my friends in the evening times,

I can literally smell in my nostrils at

525

: 00:39:32

some points, the sulfuric smell of putrid

flesh burning in perpetual fire from

526

: 00:39:41

reading this book that is tripping me out.

527

: 00:39:44

And, but in all of that, learning

that hell was not intended for me

528

: 00:39:49

and learning that Jesus Christ.

529

: 00:39:51

Didn't just love the world.

530

: 00:39:53

I know that God loved, so loved the world

that he gave his only be begotten son,

531

: 00:39:57

but that he not just loved, but loves

present tense, loves me in particular.

532

: 00:40:06

That was life changing.

533

: 00:40:11

And in reading that book and praying

to God, I gained an inward awakening

534

: 00:40:20

and inward awareness that Jesus Christ

loves me and that he didn't just die

535

: 00:40:28

for the world, but he died for my sins.

536

: 00:44:24

And I began to understand that,

you know, if I didn't receive him

537

: 00:44:28

except him as my personal Lord

and Savior, I became convicted.

538

: 00:44:34

That.

539

: 00:44:35

There was no other place for me than hell.

540

: 00:44:41

And so I know I don't

wanna go to hell, right?

541

: 00:44:45

And so I prayed and I prayed the

prayer with every bit of sincerity,

542

: 00:44:51

every ounce of sincerity I had

in me that Jesus would save me.

543

: 00:44:55

And so the end of the school year

came, I went to Washington State to

544

: 00:45:00

be with my dad for the summer for

about three weeks and one day I.

545

: 00:45:05

I was in the bed, my bedroom, all

by myself, just, you know, putting

546

: 00:45:08

away my clothes or whatever.

547

: 00:45:10

And I just said yes.

548

: 00:45:12

And as soon as I verbally said yes,

apparently to, the stirrings that had

549

: 00:45:18

been churning in my heart since I had read

the book like a couple months earlier,

550

: 00:45:24

I just said yes, and I fell apart.

551

: 00:45:28

I fell to the floor crying and

I had just accepted Jesus Christ

552

: 00:45:33

as my personal Lord and Savior.

553

: 00:45:35

And so I picked myself up and

ran to the room where my dad

554

: 00:45:38

was and told him what happened.

555

: 00:45:40

And him being a pastor, of course, he

was able to lead me through the Romans

556

: 00:45:44

road and share scriptures with me

about what that means and what that is.

557

: 00:45:49

And God finally brought me to the

place of salvation, and I went into

558

: 00:45:54

the 11th grade school year at high

school, even though my school was

559

: 00:45:58

like literally like lean on me, okay.

560

: 00:46:00

In Beaumont, Texas.

561

: 00:46:02

In fact, that school just a few years

after was shut down because there

562

: 00:46:07

was so much corruption happening

with the leadership of that and the

563

: 00:46:13

administration of that school stealing

money and using it on themselves

564

: 00:46:17

and not actually supporting the, the

kids that were in the school system.

565

: 00:46:21

I read about this like.

566

: 00:46:23

In the in, in the paper online, years ago

I read about this and my school was shut

567

: 00:46:30

down for corruption and it tripped me out

because I know my school experience and

568

: 00:46:36

I've always told people, man, my my high

school experience was like, lean on me.

569

: 00:46:39

I mean, there were big gang fights between

the guys from the south end versus the

570

: 00:46:44

north end because by that time, Tupac had

put out his disc record against Biggie

571

: 00:46:48

Smalls, notorious BIG, and how they had

the East coast, west coast thing going.

572

: 00:46:53

And so it was no longer a thing

of Crips and Bloods red and blue.

573

: 00:46:57

And now it was the thing of side of

the country, what coast are you from?

574

: 00:47:00

Or in our case, what side

of town are you from?

575

: 00:47:03

And so you literally, talking

about a young African American

576

: 00:47:08

population of kids who are.

577

: 00:47:10

Influenced in every way by

what happens in rap culture.

578

: 00:47:16

These are the captains of the ship,

so to speak, of, of of our culture

579

: 00:47:24

especially for young black men.

580

: 00:47:25

And that was the case in my school system.

581

: 00:47:28

In high school.

582

: 00:47:29

A lot of south kids who were on

the south end of town fed into the

583

: 00:47:32

school system that had been, you

know, sort of more populated by.

584

: 00:47:36

Kids who were in the north end of town.

585

: 00:47:38

And so there were these big 30

person fights that took place in

586

: 00:47:44

the 10th grade year when I went to

the big campus of my high school.

587

: 00:47:49

And so I went into the 11th grade with a

lot of the kids and a lot of the riffraff

588

: 00:47:57

or a lot of the John Bender of the

school system dropping out by that time.

589

: 00:48:03

And I.

590

: 00:48:05

Shared that I had been saved with

like 13 of my buddies one day.

591

: 00:48:12

And they rejected me and

rejected Jesus at that moment.

592

: 00:48:17

And I remember walking home crying

after being rejected by 13 guys that I.

593

: 00:48:24

You know, counted as

friends at that moment.

594

: 00:48:27

And I was set free to be a

completely different person.

595

: 00:48:32

And so for the first time ever, I learned

that I never actually had to run with

596

: 00:48:39

the John Bender's of school system.

597

: 00:48:41

You know, I never had to run with

this underbelly culture of kids

598

: 00:48:45

that were in the school system.

599

: 00:48:47

I could have chosen to be a smart

kid and run with those, those kids,

600

: 00:48:52

the kids who were, you know, getting

ahead academically, the kids who were

601

: 00:48:56

school president or on the chess club.

602

: 00:48:59

And those things were there.

603

: 00:49:00

I never paid any attention to 'cause I

was so preoccupied with this subculture.

604

: 00:49:05

I finally.

605

: 00:49:06

Gained independence from that

that, that trauma bond that I made

606

: 00:49:12

when I was in the fifth grade.

607

: 00:49:14

I, I was set free from that bond and I

gained an inner courage that God gave me.

608

: 00:49:20

And so I walked into the 11th grade

I was free to pick up the books

609

: 00:49:25

and start bringing books home.

610

: 00:49:26

I was free to.

611

: 00:49:28

Get involved in the classes that

I was in and, you know, get back

612

: 00:49:32

on the honor roll and stuff.

613

: 00:49:33

Whereas before I kind of cheated

my way through 10th grade and just

614

: 00:49:37

skirted my way through ninth grade.

615

: 00:49:39

And and so I was free to, to come home

and, and actually do my homework for the

616

: 00:49:44

first time ever and bring books home.

617

: 00:49:46

I got teased a couple of times for

bringing books home in the 11th grade

618

: 00:49:49

and I was able to finally just like,

laugh that off because I didn't hang with

619

: 00:49:53

those guys anymore on a day-to-day basis.

620

: 00:49:56

So I weren't, I wasn't trying

to impress them anymore.

621

: 00:49:59

That set me free to make a new set of

friends and to evangelize and share,

622

: 00:50:05

share Jesus with a lot of folks on campus.

623

: 00:50:07

I ended up being a guy in the 12th

grade who was bringing other kids to,

624

: 00:50:11

to church with me and and to leader

a prayer group in my school and that

625

: 00:50:16

sort of thing, and get myself and

keep myself on the honor roll and so.

626

: 00:50:20

Because I was doing so well I was able

to start thinking about college, whereas

627

: 00:50:27

I just, I wasn't able to before I

assumed that it would, that I would go

628

: 00:50:30

to college, but honestly, there was no

preparation for it before the 11th grade

629

: 00:50:36

I learned from my childhood, experienced

several things that have influenced

630

: 00:50:40

me to wanna be an intentional father

and want to be a homeschooling father.

631

: 00:50:44

I learned that.

632

: 00:50:46

Parenting is critically important and

that what's most important to parenting.

633

: 00:50:51

One of the things that's most

essential and foundational to

634

: 00:50:54

good parenting is having a good

marriage, is having a good marriage.

635

: 00:50:59

If my wife and myself are together and we

are doing well, we will have done so much

636

: 00:51:06

more to be good parents and we will be so

further along in the work of being good

637

: 00:51:12

parents to our children than what I grew

up with, with the divorce and everything.

638

: 00:51:19

And if I am there for my children.

639

: 00:51:23

I should be the one who should be

there to train them, to coach them to.

640

: 00:51:29

I can't necessarily coach them

in everything like in certain

641

: 00:51:31

sports, but I mean life coach them.

642

: 00:51:34

I should be the, the one there to train

them in life I should be the one who

643

: 00:51:40

should be their primary mentor in life.

644

: 00:51:42

No after school program or public school

program or, or even a church ministry

645

: 00:51:48

should be doing the job that I am called

to do as a father and as their parent.

646

: 00:51:54

I learned that healthy kids are

developed from healthy parents primarily.

647

: 00:52:01

In other words, parenting is the

number one indicator of the success

648

: 00:52:06

or failure of their children.

649

: 00:52:09

It is not up to society.

650

: 00:52:11

It's not up to afterschool programs.

651

: 00:52:13

It's not even up to church

ministries to raise my children.

652

: 00:52:17

That's what I learned.

653

: 00:52:19

I learned that from my own experience

firsthand, that what would've made

654

: 00:52:22

the biggest difference for me was my

parents and my parents having a healthy

655

: 00:52:27

relationship with themselves so they

could stay married and be together

656

: 00:52:30

and we could be a healthy family.

657

: 00:52:32

I felt crazy FOMO growing up because I

did not have other siblings to go through.

658

: 00:52:40

Even my, even the divorce with, I didn't

have a lot of cousins to be around when

659

: 00:52:45

I was growing up, I, I was essentially

alone walk, walking out into the

660

: 00:52:50

world alone and that made me feel, I.

661

: 00:52:54

A constant fomo.

662

: 00:52:56

And so that was also a part of the very

strong trauma bond that I developed.

663

: 00:53:00

You have to remember, I mean, I'm

thrust into this culture where the

664

: 00:53:04

rap music was a heavy influence.

665

: 00:53:06

You had movies like Boys in the Hood

and Menace of Society blood In Blood

666

: 00:53:11

Out Colors, all these type of, you know,

movies that was targeting young black

667

: 00:53:16

men that were, that were out and popular.

668

: 00:53:18

All of the guys that I was around were

in were influenced by that and tried

669

: 00:53:23

to live that sort of thuggish, macho.

670

: 00:53:26

Sort of mentality.

671

: 00:53:27

And so I was influenced by those

people heavily and, and they became

672

: 00:53:33

my mentors and they became my coaches

for life instead of my own parents

673

: 00:53:39

being the ones helping me navigate

life and navigate my own identity as

674

: 00:53:46

a young person, as an adolescent, as a

young, as a preteen, and as a teenager.

675

: 00:53:51

For our children, our five children,

we are their primary influence.

676

: 00:53:55

We, not the culture, not public, not

the public school system, or the kids.

677

: 00:53:59

They are around on the school campus.

678

: 00:54:01

We are the ones who are influencing how

our children think about themselves,

679

: 00:54:07

think about other people, think about

the world, think about their potential

680

: 00:54:13

and who they can be in the future.

681

: 00:54:16

And we are shaping that worldview

based on the Bible we have.

682

: 00:54:21

A quick Bible time with each other.

683

: 00:54:23

Every single night we pray together.

684

: 00:54:27

We walk through the Bible together.

685

: 00:54:30

We praise and we worship.

686

: 00:54:31

We listen to praise and worship music

all, all day in this house together.

687

: 00:54:35

And even the secular music that our

kids listen to, we, we curate it.

688

: 00:54:40

And oftentimes it's from movies

that we've watched together.

689

: 00:54:43

You know, we'll watch Trolls

and they, they like this,

690

: 00:54:46

the, the Trolls soundtracks.

691

: 00:54:47

So we'll listen to that.

692

: 00:54:49

We will curate other secular songs that

we will let them listen to that don't

693

: 00:54:53

have any themes that I grew up being

influenced so heavily by sexual themes or.

694

: 00:55:00

Or, or other things, primarily

sexual themes in most of the

695

: 00:55:03

music that I grew up with.

696

: 00:55:05

Even the movie breakfast Club, I should

not have been watching that movie,

697

: 00:55:09

you know, as a six, seven, 8-year-old.

698

: 00:55:11

I went back and saw that movie again when

I was older and I was like, oh my gosh,

699

: 00:55:17

I didn't realize that was in this movie.

700

: 00:55:18

Oh my goodness.

701

: 00:55:19

I didn't realize I, I can't watch this,

especially now with my kids, you know,

702

: 00:55:23

because of all the things that were in it.

703

: 00:55:25

But I was just kinda left to fend for

myself a lot because my mom had to work

704

: 00:55:30

and I just didn't have people around me

like that who were super healthy and,

705

: 00:55:35

and steering me in the right direction.

706

: 00:55:37

And so the trajectory that my

kids are on will be determined

707

: 00:55:42

primarily by how well I raised them.

708

: 00:55:44

And how well me or my wife raised

them and how we bring them up

709

: 00:55:49

and what we expose them to.

710

: 00:55:51

And so I learned all of those things when

the Lord saved my soul and really became

711

: 00:55:57

that father and that mentor that I needed

to sort start making positive directions

712

: 00:56:02

that would help me get to college and

and, and make the decisions that I wanted

713

: 00:56:07

to be a, a man with one wife, and that I

would not be a man who would cheat on my

714

: 00:56:13

wife, and that I would be a man who would.

715

: 00:56:16

Have a, a larger family because I grew

up so alone and lonely that I knew that

716

: 00:56:22

I wanted a larger family because I wanted

them to have each other, and I also

717

: 00:56:27

wanted them to have two parents, two

healthy parents who loved each other.

718

: 00:56:32

And, and love them to take care of them.

719

: 00:56:34

I wanted that for my children.

720

: 00:56:36

And so that's why, and, and when I met

my wife in college, and we'll talk about

721

: 00:56:40

our story together in a separate episode,

but when I met her and like it was like

722

: 00:56:45

she wanted the same thing and so God

introduced me to a person who like wanted

723

: 00:56:49

the same thing so early in our college

experience that we just, like, we quickly

724

: 00:56:55

became fast friends and just a few years

later we would end up getting married.

725

: 00:57:01

And being married to her was such a great

work by God of re-parenting and giving

726

: 00:57:06

me a lot of the experiences, celebrating

my birthday as well, and, and, and giving

727

: 00:57:12

me a lot of gifts even if they were

just hardly nothing, gifts or whatever.

728

: 00:57:15

It was the intentionality that I

just appreciated and, and the value

729

: 00:57:19

that she placed on me that I loved so

much about my wife and, and I still,

730

: 00:57:25

Love so much about my wife.

731

: 00:57:26

Even when it was just us two, we felt

like a whole family because of how

732

: 00:57:32

much we value one another and how

much overlap we had with one another.

733

: 00:57:36

And and now that we have our five

kids, it is just a blessing every

734

: 00:57:42

single day to have the household that

I always wanted and homeschooling

735

: 00:57:47

them has just been the joy of my

life and has been amazing so far.

736

: 00:57:51

And we're still on the road.

737

: 00:57:52

And I absolutely love it because of all

that I went through as a young person.

738

: 00:58:00

And we knew that we wanted to

homeschool and be together and

739

: 00:58:04

be these intentional parents.

740

: 00:58:05

And so that's why we work, have been

working since: 2002

741

: 00:58:11

businesses and now running the

business that we've been in for years.

742

: 00:58:15

Consulting and coaching.

743

: 00:58:18

And selling courses, helping

other people, other entrepreneurs

744

: 00:58:24

build their lifestyle business.

745

: 00:58:26

For us, a lifestyle

business is most important.

746

: 00:58:29

Don't have to be the richest person in

the world, but we wanted a lifestyle

747

: 00:58:32

business that would let us live out

our values and our values as God.

748

: 00:58:36

This family, and we love homeschooling

because it allows us to be able to

749

: 00:58:41

cultivate that family and that community

of love, that community of safety

750

: 00:58:48

and that community of, of healthy

relationships and godly worldview that we

751

: 00:58:53

know, that I know that was so important

for me in my developmental years.

752

: 00:58:57

We know that that is important

to develop for our children, and

753

: 00:59:02

that's what we want for them.

754

: 00:59:04

And so the Homeschool Money Makeover

program is focused on helping you

755

: 00:59:10

self-fund that sort of lifestyle.

756

: 00:59:15

If you wanna homeschool your children,

even in, even if that's micro schooling

757

: 00:59:18

you, you may still be asking a question

of how to afford it for yourself.

758

: 00:59:23

That is what we help you solve in a

most comprehensive way through the

759

: 00:59:28

Homeschool Money Makeover program.

760

: 00:59:31

And so I would encourage you

to go to homeschool money.com

761

: 00:59:36

and take the free class.

762

: 00:59:38

It's a 90 minute class.

763

: 00:59:40

Take the free introductory class to learn

more about this five step system that we

764

: 00:59:46

call the Homeschool Money Makeover, and

learn about the program and all about the

765

: 00:59:52

program and how it will help you develop

and transform your finances and help you

766

: 00:59:59

get on track to building a lifestyle.

767

: 01:00:01

Income without a nine to five job so

that you can homeschool your children and

768

: 01:00:07

live that intentional family lifestyle.

769

: 01:00:10

I hope you have enjoyed this episode.

770

: 01:00:12

In the next episode, crystal and Me

will talk together about in the third

771

: 01:00:19

part of our sort of origin story.

772

: 01:00:21

We will talk about our life together and

how we have come to develop the Homeschool

773

: 01:00:27

Money Makeover program and tell then.

774

: 01:00:30

I hope you've enjoyed this particular

episode and hearing about my story and

775

: 01:00:35

my childhood experiences that shaped

me to be who I am today, I look forward

776

: 01:00:40

to seeing you in the next episode.

777

: 01:00:43

See you then.

778

: 01:00:43

outro: if you like today's episode,

make sure you tap the follow button

779

: 01:00:47

so you never miss a thing, and if it

help you share it with a friend or your

780

: 01:00:51

homeschool group sharing is caring.

781

: 01:00:53

Do you love free stuff?

782

: 01:00:55

Like me?

783

: 01:00:56

Sign up and watch our free games

class called Get 30,000 a year

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: 01:01:01

to Find Your Homeschooling.

785

: 01:01:02

With all nines to five job, when you sign

up, you'll gain instant access to a class

786

: 01:01:07

and you'll get our weekly newsletter.

787

: 01:01:09

Put tips and strategies to make your

homeschooling journey affordable.

788

: 01:01:13

Go to homeschool money.com

789

: 01:01:15

and register right now.

790

: 01:01:17

Ready to get your homeschool money.

791

: 01:01:19

Head over to homeschool money.com

792

: 01:01:21

to enroll in the full Homeschool

Money Makeover course.

793

: 01:01:25

You'll get the tools, templates,

and step by step help to

794

: 01:01:29

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795

: 01:01:32

And create 30,000 or much more every year.

796

: 01:01:36

Each module of this program is designed

to transform your finances and help you

797

: 01:01:41

experience financial abundance, so you

have the flexibility and lifestyle freedom

798

: 01:01:47

to homeschool your children with a nine

to five job and without sacrificing.

799

: 01:01:53

And right now we have an

amazing limited time offer.

800

: 01:01:57

That gives you huge savings and

bonus gifts you're going to love.

801

: 01:02:01

Go to homeschool money.com

802

: 01:02:03

to enroll today and don't forget

to give us some love with a

803

: 01:02:07

five star rating and review.

804

: 01:02:09

It'll help more people find our show.

805

: 01:02:11

Have a great day.

806

: 01:02:13

Bye.